It's Sooo Big

Shortly before we had Greg, Julie and I discussed cribs. At some point, she said, "One way or another we'll be okay. Some people even say newborns can sleep in a drawer." To me she said this. Me.

By whatever great fortune, Greg did not come home to a cozy drawer. He instead came home to a pack-n-play with a bassinet mod.

If you zoom in it looks like he's counting his treasure.

This arrangement was serviceable and we even got him a fancy mattress. However, even I eventually acknowledged that a portable play area is not a proper baby bed and it was time for an upgrade. My folks volunteered their checkbook and over the Christmas break we ordered Greg a lovely crib.

The crib arrived in early January and I celebrated my second Friday-at-Home by putting the crib together during Greg naps.

Extended puppy scene at 0:51.

Curiously, any time Greg was near the new crib he was unhappy. In addition, I was stuffy and felt weird for a day afterward. The crib stank to high heaven of volatile organic compounds and whatever the opposite of responsible business practices smells like.

As near as I can tell, the makers packaged it up immediately after the polyurethane was no longer dripping. It came out of the box in a cloud of vapors that smelled like a lifetime too near the glue factory. Paint factory? How do youngsters get high on the cheap these days?

Internet research about hardwood floor re-finishing indicated that the solution was heat and ventilation. This combination would maximize my rate of outgassing - which turns out to be a legitimate technical term.

My interpretation of "heat and ventilation" - a bathroom vent and the biggest space heater I could find.

I rigged up the master bathroom complete with a temperature gauge and a smoke alarm - because I felt fire was inevitable. I tried to position the space heater so that it violated its safety rules in the least dangerous possible way and ran the system at 120° F for a month.

Yep. A month. It took for freaking ever. Since Greg was going to be sleeping in this thing I felt that the safe emission standard was less than what I could detect with my nose. I occasionally ran tests where I would turn off the fan and run the heater all day, then go in a see if I could still smell anything. After a month, it graduated. I think it's amazing that I didn't burn the house down.

Yay! A real bed!

After getting used to the pack-n-play, the actual crib is huge. Greg also seems huge. The two fit together well. Tonight Greg went to sleep in his new fortress with no difficulty, so I am calling the operation a win.


Brenda said…
I think the new crib is manly!! I know that in 2012 that is not politically correct, but it does!
4 Is More said…
Does that mean you had to disassemble the crib and put it together *again*?
Brenda - Agreed. The crib is fierce :-)

Amy - Yes, but only partially. Unfortunately, I was dumb in my choice about how to take it apart and the re-assembly was more acrobatic than it should have been (photos omitted).

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