Hello. Today I'd like to talk about a lamp. That's not quite right. It's more of a room light thing. Different than a sconce, and not even remotely a stanchion. I think we need a picture. Consider the following chandelier:
Not a stanchion.
This chandelier was included with my now two months post-new home. I do not like it. I think it looks hostile and it likes to whack me in the head when I stand up from the sofa - we defied convention and made the dining room our Olympics watching room.
From day one, I've done a lot of angry glaring and saying things that lights find unnerving. For instance, "That stupid light thing is marked." And, "Ou- MULE KARKLES ON A RAFT!!! That hurt. Lamp, LAMP! I glare at thee!" (That zinger would be followed with a glare.)
Unfortunately, for an variety of too-dull-to-discuss-here stress-type reasons, for the last couple months, about the only free time activity I've been enthusiastic to pursue is sitting and eating. Lately my trousers have been fitting less well and I've been experimenting with flopping and eating.
Not this weekend though. No sir. This weekend, I saw the sky, drew a deep breath of rare, seasonably cool morning air, and welcomed myself back to the world. First order of business: strike my enemies to dust.
This picture also does not contain a stanchion.
According to the fellow at my locally raised, grass fed lighting store, I can dispose of my old chandelier by donating it to a place that will contrive to install it in the home of a financially damaged person via Habitat for Humanity. That sounded like odd advice to me because I don't know the person who ultimately gets the lamp. Maybe they're nice. Maybe they don't like giant, weirdly hostile-looking head clobbering lamps. Nonetheless, that's the advice.
Meanwhile, that same guy also sold me this handsome specimen.
If you just said, "Now that is a stanchion." You were completely wrong.
This was actually my first time un/installing a light fixture. For a trivial job, it was surprisingly difficult to do with just one person. It would be much easier if they were installed as part of the floor. It took many dangerous ballancings and unsound danglings to get that thing up there.
Now that it is up though, I am proud. Much prouder than I thought I'd be. I stare at it a lot. I think this is the first thing I've really made my own in the house.
Two stanchions. Also, a smiley face with legs and feet.