Date Night

Julie posed a challenge:

Name 5 songs that were made in the last 20 years.

Smirking, I began. "Ah... The Star Spangled... Octopus Garden?"

Julie shook her head.

"What I've Done, by Linkin Park!" I announced, congratulating myself for correctly spelling the band's name in my head.

"Four more," she said.

"Well, there's that one by Icona Pop, and the one about being a South American Dictator..."

"What are they called," she asked.

My response was a frustrated grunt. "What about that Pink song about starting fights?"

"What's it called?"

*   *   *

It went on like that for a while. I don't think I got past Linkin Park. I did remember lots of artist/band names though, but I'm pretty sure that's only because I listen to a gossipy radio station. I have zero culture. Help?

Despite my poor showing, Julie was still willing to go out on a date with me this evening. As usual, the first stop was drinks. Fancy drinks.

That's her with a carafe of wine next to my delightful french martini.

The martinis at that place are enough to do me in all by themselves and after I helped Julie out with her carafe I was thoroughly smashed. Fortunately, sloshy Charlie is not only a delightful companion but also a generous tipper.

After a sobering detour to the mall, we were on our way back to the car, when we were stopped on the sidewalk by a young gentleman and a man whom he led us to believe was his father. "Could you convince him to let me drive home," pleaded the young man.

To which I responded, "Are you drunk? Because I'm struggling..."

"Nooo," he quickly answered.

"Good then. How old are you?" I fired back, a natural at youngster intimidation.

"I'm 16!" he was his response. He father looking on, smirking.

"This car you'll be driving home in, is it a manual or an automatic transmission?"

"It's automatic," he said, excited at how well this was going.

"Automatic?! A gopher could drive that home! Absolutely!"

And then, his dad smiled and tossed him the keys.

Soon after, I tossed Julie my keys and we found our way to a place that served delicious dessert foods.

Water, cheesecake, and a giant cookie for the lady.

And that marked mission accomplished. I should sleep now.


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